


The Shibu-Kru Chronicles

by SonikkuGirl8



Category: Genei Ibun Roku #FE | Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE, Jet Set Radio, Persona 5, Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempt at Humor, Beat is confused, Canon Temporary Character Death, Chatting & Messaging, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Dimension Travel, Friendship, Itsuki is concerned, Let Everyone Say Fuck, Memes, Multi, Neku gets dragged into character development kicking and screaming, Ren is a little shit, Slow To Update, Swearing, Texting, Why Did I Write This?, any additional warnings marked in notes, mostly chat fic with some normal writing sprinkled in, no beta we die like neku's faith in humanity, shameless spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:21:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25229011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonikkuGirl8/pseuds/SonikkuGirl8
Summary: I: It’s okay! My leave button was deleted too! So, it’s not like it’s singling you out!N: wow i feel so much better now thanksI: Glad I could help! :DR: I’m pretty sure he was being sarcastic.N: no shit sherlockI: Awww… :(--An ambiguously moraled 'AI' traps a phantom thief, a graffiti artist, a soft boy, and an emo into a chat app and forces them to interact. This is the result.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren & Aoi Itsuki, Amamiya Ren & Sakuraba Neku, Amamiya Ren/Kitagawa Yusuke, Aoi Itsuki & Beat (Jet Set Radio), Aoi Itsuki & Sakuraba Neku, Aoi Itsuki/Oribe Tsubasa, Beat (TWEWY)/Gum (JSR), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sakuraba Neku & Beat (Jet Set Radio), Sakuraba Neku/Sakura Futaba
Comments: 55
Kudos: 94
Collections: Quality Persona Fics





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Born from playing Tokyo Mirage Sessions one night thinking about other games I like with Shibuya in them and it wouldn't leave me alone.
> 
> Couple things of note:
> 
> -This is going off of vanilla P5. I planned this out before Royal came out and I don't plan on adding any Royal elements besides Shadow moveset adjustments based on it.
> 
> -The fic starts right as P5 begins, right before TMS begins, and a few months before TWEWY and JSR. It's probably gonna be a long one.
> 
> -I... don't have the best track record with consistent posts. I'll try to update this one as much as I can.
> 
> -Seriously, don't read this if you give any sort of a damn about spoilers for any of these games. There are minor and major ones up the wazoo.
> 
> And with that, I hope you enjoy this abomination!

_**April 9th - 10:02 PM** _

_**B, N, I, and R have joined the server.** _

* * *

B: yo wtf is dis

B: dis col af

I: Oh? Hello?

I: How did you all get my number?

B: idk it poped up n my phn

I: Oh, okay.

I: That’s really weird.

R: wft lwmme skekp i hvw scook

R: dmt pinf me

_**N has left the chat.** _

_**N has joined the chat.** _

I: ‘Scook’?

B: scook

R: *school

R: Sorry, I’m tired.

B: its only 10 bro

R: I’ve been moving shit around all day.

R: My arms are gonna snap off.

R: I need sleeeeeeeeep.

I: I’m sorry to hear. <:/

B: kis em btter

R: No. <3

I: You have school on a Sunday?

R: Yeah, just moved. Gotta meet my homeroom teacher and crap.

B: boooooooo tht sucks dawg

B: wat sunday tmrrw is monday

R: Pretty sure tomorrow’s Sunday. Says so on my calendar.

I: It says it on mine too.

B: waaaaaaaaat?

B: min sais monday

R: Weird.

R: Maybe your calendar’s off.

B: imma go ask gum

B: gum sais tmrrw is monday 2

R: Hey guy who keeps leaving. What’s tomorrow for you?

N: nunya

_**N has left the chat.** _

_**N has joined the chat.** _

N: damn it

B: yo why u keep cumin bck?

N: not tryin to dumbass

_**N has left the chat.** _

_**N has joined the chat.** _

N: wth?

N: i dont wanna be in a group chat.

N: let me leave

**No.**

B: waaaaaaaaaaaaaat

I: Did the chatbot just respond to you directly?! o_O

R: That’s creepy as hell.

N: hell no.

_**N has left the chat.** _

_**N has joined the chat.** _

**No can do, N. No one's allowed to leave.**

**And his calendar says Tuesday.**

B: oof

R: Oof.

I: Oof.

N: stfu

N: wait wheres my leave button

N: give it back.

**No.**

**You’ll just keep spamming it and wasting your time.**

N: asshole.

I: It’s okay! My leave button was deleted too! So, it’s not like it’s singling you out!

N: wow i feel so much better now thanks

I: Glad I could help! :D

R: I’m pretty sure he was being sarcastic.

N: no shit sherlock

I: Awww… :(

B: wth is dis creppy crap anwys?

**You guys are gonna be part of a little experiment I'm doin'.**

**I want to see how teenagers from different periods of time will interact with one another.**

I: Did you just say different time periods? 8|

R: ‘Scuse me?

B: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

**Yes. You four are from different times.  
  
**

**  
****I and R are from 2016.  
** **  
******

**  
****B is from 2000.**

**N is from 2007.**

N: i call bull

N: 2000 phones cant do groupchat crap

I: I have to agree. Early 2000’s phones aren’t really made for something like that.

I: The most it’d be able to manage is a few lines of text at a time, right?

R: Right. Source: had a dinky little Nokia until I turned 13.

I: Wow! Vintage! :)

N: your parents must hate you

I: :(

R: Yes. Yes they do.

I: ! :((

R: At least the Nokia never broke.

B: yo bt my phn kina mltd an turnd to a bar thingie wit dis froot thingie n it

R: ...Your phone suddenly turned into an iPhone?

I: How???

**Magic.**

**I magicked him an upgraded phone.**

N: the hell is an iphone

I: o-o’

R: 

R: I believe the AI thing now.

R: You don’t just… not know what an iPhone is.

I: Hold on, R. N is from 2007. If it’s April, I figure it hasn’t been revealed yet.

R: Aw, right.

R: Wait ‘til June.

R: Your head’s gonna explode.

N: ill stick with my flip phone

R: Ew, flip phone.

B: don knockum main

B: dis 1 cul tho

**I'll just be watchin' ya and not get too involved from now on. Do what you want. Besides leave, of course.**

**Later!**

_**Chatbot is offline.** _

N: come back here and let me out

I: Unfortunately, that still doesn’t look possible.

R: Looks like you’re stuck with us honey. ;)

I: :D

B: :)

B: whyr we smillin

N: kill me now


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> B: itll mak us blud brothas
> 
> N: no
> 
> N: keep your blood away from me
> 
> \--
> 
> After the intial shock, our heroes decide to formally introduce each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just another chapter I had ready. I don't plan on doing too many more double uploads.

_**April 9th - 10:27 PM** _

I: Sooooo… since we’re apparently all stuck in this chat for the foreseeable future, why don’t we introduce ourselves to each other? :)

I: The letters are only going to get boring and impersonal otherwise.

B: ok

R: I’m down.

I: Good! We’re in agreement!

N: no we arent

N: i didnt even know you people existed til five minutes ago

N: theres no way in hell

R: Aw, c’mon, loosen up a bit, N.

R: We might as well get to know the people we share a mobile prison with.

B: itll mak us blud brothas

N: no

N: keep your blood away from me

I: Well… I guess we can’t force them.

I: I’ll go first! I’m Itsuki Aoi, age 18! I enjoy being there for people who need my help! :D

R: Wholesome.

N: barf

Beat: wassup

R: Nice to meet you, Aoi-senpai.

I: Just Itsuki’s fine, thanks! I’m not much for formalities.

B: names beat

B: i lik tagin shit wit my csquad

B: cuz fuck da police

R: Word, bro.

I: <8.

I: Beat, you’re in a gang?

I: I won’t judge if you are, that just seems a little… not safe?

B: s cul we don hur peps

B: nly tag wlls and rivl peps

I: Okay. That makes me feel better. :)

N: graffiti is cool i guess

R: What’s this? Opening up to us temporal internet strangers already? /:3

N: stfu weirdo

N: i tag stuff too sometimes

B: freal sweet

B: wanna join the ggs

N: first of all no

N: second how

N: im apparently 7 years in the future from you according to that jackass chatbot thing

B: 

B: shit u rite

R: So sorry you can’t get a new member in your gang, Beat. D|

B: is cuwl

R: My name’s Ren Amamiya, but just Ren’s fine. I do stuff sometimes, I guess.

R: I dunno, I like baseball?

B: col ta met ya

I: That’s nice! Do you play on a team?

R: Nah, not anymore. Used to though.

B: rip

R: Okay, your turn N.

N: no

**His name’s Neku Sakuraba.**

R: Unexpectedly pretty.

I: Hello!

B: sup

N: how the hell

I: They probably had to learn our names when picking us for this chat.

R: Makes sense.

**Yup, pretty much.**

N: fucker

N: i thought you said you were just watching

**I couldn’t just sit by and let you miss out on the wonderful bonding moment! :D**

**Oh, and look what else I can do!**

_**N changed their name to ‘Moody Emo Boi’.** _

R: *mwah* Perfect.

B: yes

I: I think it fits very well!

Moody Emo Boi: 

Moody Emo Boi:

_**Moody Emo Boi is offline.** _

I: … Neku?

R: Our first rage quit.

R: That was fast.

B: was a rage quit

R: Don’t worry about it.

I: Can I have a nickname too, Mr. Chatbot?

**You can always give yourself one, Itsuki.**

I: I know, but one from you just makes it seem more special.

**:)**

_**I changed their name to ‘Literal Sunshine’.** _

**Okay.**

Literal Sunshine: :D

**Okay, now I'm leaving.**

_**Chatbot is offline.** _

R: I think I’m gonna go to bed now.

R: Need to get up early. I'll come up with a nickname or something too when I get back.

Literal Sunshine: Good night, Ren! Good luck at school!

R: Ugh...

B: nite

_**R is offline.** _

B: igg 2

B: gotstuf 2do

Literal Sunshine: … Goodnight, Beat.

B: ltr

_**B is offline.** _

_**Literal Sunshine is offline.** _


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> R: Just checking in to make sure this thing is real.
> 
> R: My school already sucks major ass.
> 
> R: My Jabba the Hutt lookin’ ass principal is an asshole.
> 
> \--
> 
> The start of something beautiful...

_**April 10th - 4:59 AM** _

_**Moody Emo Boi is online.** _

_**Moody Emo Boi changed their name to ‘fuck you chatbot’.** _

_**fuck you chatbot changed their name to ‘get bent’.** _

_**get bent changed their name to ‘ping me and die’.** _

ping me and die: **read above**

ping me and die: dont fucking test me istg

_**ping me and die is offline.** _

_**Chatbot is online.** _

**:)**

_**ping me and die is online.** _

_**ping me and die’s offline privileges have been disabled.** _

_**ping me and die changed their name to ‘ping me’.** _

**You can’t escape, child. :P**

_**Chatbot is offline.** _

ping me: GOD DAMN IT WHY

* * *

_**April 10th - 8:00 PM** _

_**B and two others are online.** _

B: dam tink i jst saw a mrder

Literal Sunshine: Good evening! How are you guys?

B: sup

R: Yo.

R: Just checking in to make sure this thing is real.

R: Everything is ass.

R: My life sucks ass.

R: My school already sucks major ass.

R: My Jabba the Hutt lookin’ ass principal is an asshole.

B: who

R: It’s from Star Wars.

B: aint tht teh spc mve?

R: Yup.

Literal Sunshine: I can assure you, it’s still very real.

Literal Sunshine: I’m sorry to hear about your principal. I hope you end up having a good time in your classes anyways. :(

R: Won’t that be something?

R: As long as I’m not crazy. Lately, my phone’s been acting really weird.

R: There’s this app on it that won’t go away.

Literal Sunshine: You should go get that checked out. What if it’s trying to steal all your information?

R: Eh. It’s probably just a bug or something.

B: i duno main, smtmes i tink m crz

B: lik i c flotin pant cans wen mst ppl cant

R: … Floating paint cans?

Literal Sunshine: Do you at least wear a mask when you’re out spraying, Beat? Breathing in paint fumes is bad for you. <:(

B: nah ill b fin

B: I c strs a lt tho

R: Get a bandana at least, man.

R: Anyways, I just scrolled up.

R: Should I do it? /:3c

Literal Sunshine: Ren, no.

R: C’mon, it’ll be funny!

B: iduno dud semmed prtty pised

R: I’m gonna do it. Hold on a sec.

\--

_**Ren Amamiya = > Neku Sakuraba ** _

Ren: **@Neku**

Ren: Hi.

Ren: :3

Neku: isnt paint for brains supposed to be the only one who can’t fucking read straight japanese

Neku: or are you trying to piss me off

Ren: Wait, how do you know about that?

Ren: Have you been watching after all? ;)

Neku: no

Neku: seems like the kind of dumbass whod huff paint for fun

Ren: Oh. 

Neku: what do you want

Ren: Come back to the chat, you’re missing the part where I talk about my shitty day! :(

Neku: does it look like i give a rat’s ass

Ren: I’ll pay you all the yen in my pocket if you come back on!

Neku: how much

Ren: Uh… 100?

Neku: ha ha ha

_**Ren Amamiya was blocked.** _

_**Ren Amamiya was unblocked.** _

Neku: 

Ren: 

Ren: Come back?

Neku: **get out of my dms**

* * *

B: an thas teh stri o why i drped outta hs

Literal Sunshine: 8((

R: Well that was a failure.

B: boooooo

Literal Sunshine: 

R: Itsuki, you alright?

Literal Sunshine: Fine! Everything’s fine! 8(

B: u kina gt quite fra sec

Literal Sunshine:

R: Anyways, I should probably pick a nickname for myself.

R: How bout…

_**R changed his name to ‘Nasty Crime Boy’.** _

Nasty Crime Boy: Perfect.

Literal Sunshine: Huh. Why that one?

Nasty Crime Boy: An inside joke among close good friends. :|

Literal Sunshine: Okay.

B: yo canni gt 1 2

Nasty Crime Boy: Sure, pick one!

B: uh

_**B changed his name to ‘nuthinbutbeat’** _

nuthinbutbeat: how dis

Nasty Crime Boy: Nice, I like it.

Literal Sunshine: It… fits really well Beat…

Literal Sunshine: I need to go to bed now.

Literal Sunshine: Good night.

Nasty Crime Boy: But it’s not even 8:30?

Literal Sunshine: My head hurts.

_**Literal Sunshine is offline.** _

Nasty Crime Boy:

Nasty Crime Boy: I’m not gonna ask what went on while I was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone has a nickname now yay


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nasty Crime Boy: So I summoned a demon bird man in a suit and 100 gallon top hat and it asked me if I wanted to go apeshit today.
> 
> nuthinbutbeat: wut
> 
> ping me: the next time you see satan tell him im ready to leave this bitch of an earth now
> 
> \--
> 
> Ren starts his adventure with the electric monkey man to save the 9th Dimension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nickname reminder: 
> 
> Nasty Crime Boy - Ren
> 
> ping me - Neku
> 
> Literal Sunshine - Itsuki
> 
> nuthinbutbeat - Beat

_**April 11th - 7:20 PM** _

_**Literal Sunshine and two others are online.** _

Literal Sunshine: Hello! Sorry for leaving so abruptly yesterday!

Literal Sunshine: I’ve taken the time I need to properly process everything!

Literal Sunshine: I accept you for who you are as a person, Beat! :) Don’t let your education define you!

nuthinbutbeat: k

nuthinbutbeat: wi tout r dawg hau 2 du a flp 2day

Literal Sunshine: Oh, you have a dog? Can I see?

nuthinbutbeat: hw du u snd piks

Literal Sunshine: There should be a little picture icon in the bottom left corner.

nuthinbutbeat: ok

nuthinbutbeat: pots.jpeg

Literal Sunshine: ...Is that a blue dog wearing rollerskates?

nuthinbutbeat: kewl rite

Literal Sunshine: Why is he wearing 3D glasses?

nuthinbutbeat: wynot

ping me:

Literal Sunshine: Neku, you’re back? :o

nuthinbutbeat: yo wut?

Literal Sunshine: Hey!

Literal Sunshine: I thought you’d just ignore us!

ping me: the fucking chatbot wouldnt leave me alone

* * *

_**ChatBot = > Neku Sakuraba ** _

**Neku.**

**Neku.**

**Hey.**

**Hey, Neku.**

**Neku, hi.**

**Neku.**

**Neku.**

**Hey.**

**Hey.**

**Hi.**

**Hi, Neku.**

Neku: **WHAT?!**

**You’re messing up the whole thing, bro.**

Neku: bite me

**This whole back and forth is gettin’ pretty boring.**

**Quit being a whiny little brat and come back already.**

Neku: fuck off im eating dinner

**Four whole containers of chicken nuggets and 2 large fries is your dinner?**

**Where does it all go?!**

Neku: hey sunshines chicken nuggets are rad

Neku: you cant stop at just one box

Neku: how the hell do you know im eating chicken nuggets

**I can see out of your guy’s cameras.**

**Your stereo set up is weak as hell.**

**Why do you wear your headphones to bed?**

**Isn’t that uncomfortable?**

**Neku, don’t ignore me.**

**Neku.**

**Neku.**

**I can keep at this all night, dude.**

* * *

ping me: i have to be on here whenever the chat is active

ping me: or hell hack my mp3 player and turn all my jams into caramelldansen

nuthinbutbeat: he cn du tat

ping me: i aint findin out thats for damn sure

Literal Sunshine: That doesn’t seem that bad!

ping me:

ping me: do you want me to find a way to maul you across time aoi

ping me: because i will

Literal Sunshine: Point taken.

Literal Sunshine: My friend Touma got an acting gig he’s been wanting for a long time today!

nuthinbutbeat: nice

nuthinbutbeat: wat 4

Literal Sunshine: A deodorant commercial.

Literal Sunshine: It’s a pretty popular brand too, so it’ll be a pretty big boost on his career!

Literal Sunshine: Apparently, he only did it because he gets to take his shirt off though… wonder why.

Literal Sunshine: I know it’s getting pretty hot lately…

ping me: tell him rubbing on shitty cheap deodorant without a shirt isnt gonna help him pick up girls

nuthinbutbeat: u rite tho

Literal Sunshine: Huh?

_**Nasty Crime Boy is online.** _

Nasty Crime Boy: Hey.

Nasty Crime Boy: So I summoned a demon bird man in a suit and 100 gallon top hat and it asked me if I wanted to go apeshit today.

nuthinbutbeat: wut

ping me: the next time you see satan tell him im ready to leave this bitch of an earth now

Literal Sunshine: Good evening, Ren!

Literal Sunshine: 

Literal Sunshine: You summoned a what?! 8(

Nasty Crime Boy: A demon.

Nasty Crime Boy: I met a dude named Ryuji on my way to school and me and him ended up in a castle.

Nasty Crime Boy: I summoned a demon in there and fought little witch dudes with pumpkins for heads and fairies.

Nasty Crime Boy: Did I mention there was a talking cat yet?

Literal Sunshine: 

nuthinbutbeat:

ping me:

ping me: amamiya are you high rn

Nasty Crime Boy: Y’know, I asked myself that too multiple times today. The cops did too, in fact, but I’m pretty sure I’m not. 

Nasty Crime Boy: I think.

Nasty Crime Boy: I hope.

Nasty Crime Boy: The cat had one too. It shot wind everywhere and it was kinda wicked ngl.

Nasty Crime Boy: Mine’s name is Arsene and he says hi.

Literal Sunshine:

nuthinbutbeat:

ping me:

_**Literal Sunshine and two others are offline.** _

Nasty Crime Boy:

Nasty Crime Boy: Maybe I shouldn’t have led with the castle shit.

_**Nasty Crime Boy is offline.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The P5 parts are now kicked off, and as such, so is the plot. The TMS parts are next up and aren't too far behind, but we still have a little ways to go.
> 
> Thank you for reading! And I do take the time to read each and every comment you all leave even if I don't always answer back. It's a big joy of mine to see.
> 
> Enjoy the rest of your day/evening!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nasty Crime Boy: Anyway, apparently it’s called a Persona.
> 
> Nasty Crime Boy: A reflection of my true self or some shit.
> 
> ping me: so its a stand
> 
> Nasty Crime Boy: No.
> 
> \--
> 
> Ren shares some pictures with his chat friends. Includes a short discussion of the kid's floof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nickname Reminder:
> 
> Nasty Crime Boy - Ren
> 
> Literal Sunshine - Itsuki
> 
> ping me - Neku
> 
> nuthinbutbeat - Beat
> 
> \--
> 
> This chapter totally wasn't delayed because I've been playing Tokyo Mirage Sessions the whole time. Nope. No, sir.

_**April 14th - 10:00 PM** _

_**Nasty Crime Boy and 3 others are online.** _

Nasty Crime Boy: Okay.

Nasty Crime Boy: So I acknowledge I might have freaked you guys out with the castle and demon crap.

nuthinbutbeat: lil bit

Literal Sunshine: Yeah, kinda. <:/

Literal Sunshine: It definitely came out of nowhere.

ping me: im still damn sure that ryu guy got you high

ping me: he led you into a fucking alley where no one could see you guys right

Nasty Crime Boy: His name’s Ryuji and he is my best friend and you are not allowed to talk shit about him, Neku.

ping me: ill talk shit if i wanna talk shit

nuthinbutbeat: u bst friends wit sm1 u jst met

Nasty Crime Boy: A lot of shit happened that day.

Nasty Crime Boy: After all we went through, I couldn’t just NOT be friends with him.

Nasty Crime Boy: Y’all are distracting me.

Nasty Crime Boy: I have proof now! To show you guys I’m not crazy.

Literal Sunshine: Oh?

nuthinbutbeat: giv da deets

ping me: too late

ping me: your entire being reeks of dark chaotic evil energy

Nasty Crime Boy: uwu

ping me: no

ping me: i dont know what that is but i hate it

Nasty Crime Boy: I found an old film camera! We’ve gone back a few times and I snapped a bunch of stuff with it!

Literal Sunshine: Why couldn’t you use your phone camera?

Nasty Crime Boy: Normal electronic stuff doesn’t work in that castle.

Nasty Crime Boy: Apparently it’s in another dimension…?

ping me:

**No.**

ping me: |:|

**:)**

ping me: >:(

Nasty Crime Boy: Hold up, lemme send pics.

Nasty Crime Boy: testpic.jpeg

Literal Sunshine: Oh! A face reveal! :o

nuthinbutbeat: why ur har so flufi

Nasty Crime Boy: My hair isn’t fluffy. >:(

Literal Sunshine: It’s pretty fluffy, Ren.

Literal Sunshine: I kind of wanna touch it.

Nasty Crime Boy: Nuuuuuuuuuuu.

Nasty Crime Boy: You’ll mess up my curls!

ping me: rats nest head ass

Nasty Crime Boy: My aesthetic. uwu

ping me: stop

ping me: ofc u wear glasses btw

Nasty Crime Boy: Do they not make me look like a smol bab?

Nasty Crime Boy: Cute?

Nasty Crime Boy: Sexy mayhaps?

ping me: lol no

ping me: they make you look like a nerd

Nasty Crime Boy: :c

nuthinbutbeat: thy mak u luk tight

Nasty Crime Boy: :)

Literal Sunshine: You had some more to show us?

Nasty Crime Boy: Oh yeah, thanks Itsuki!

Nasty Crime Boy: Remember I mentioned a talking cat thing?

Nasty Crime Boy: notacat.jpeg

Literal Sunshine: He’s… cute?

nuthinbutbeat: fugly cute

Nasty Crime Boy: Hey, c'mon, Morgana's not... that ugly.

ping me: you named the damn thing and you named it **morgana**

ping me: dont name it destroy it

ping me: drown it

Nasty Crime Boy: I can’t drown him.

Nasty Crime Boy: He kinda came with the name, too late.

ping me: look at its fucking eyes

ping me: its either seen some shit or is a possessed toy… thing

Literal Sunshine: Yeah… they kinda stare into your soul, don’t they?

Literal Sunshine: A bit creepy, honestly.

nuthinbutbeat: he luks lik hed ete pots

Nasty Crime Boy: Okay, I get it. Morgana isn’t doing it for you guys.

Nasty Crime Boy: He’s actually not that bad. A bit full of himself, but he’s been helpful in battle.

nuthinbutbeat: demon stuff agin

ping me: i thought i told you tell me if satan showed up again

ping me: you think i was talking out of my ass

Nasty Crime Boy: birdman.jpeg

Nasty Crime Boy: Last one cause I didn’t have much film and I wanna go to bed

nuthinbutbeat: holy shit

nuthinbutbeat: tht luks metal

Literal Sunshine: So this is what you summoned?

ping me: his mouth is on fire

Nasty Crime Boy: Yeah. I’m concerned about it for sho.

Nasty Crime Boy: Anyway, apparently it’s called a Persona.

Nasty Crime Boy: A reflection of my true self or some shit.

ping me: so its a stand

Nasty Crime Boy: No.

Nasty Crime Boy: It’s not a Stand.

Nasty Crime Boy: Moving on.

Literal Sunshine: What’s a stand? Like a kick stand?

Nasty Crime Boy: Moving on!

Literal Sunshine: Ren, if you’re going into that castle, please be careful. I’m still pretty wary of the whole ‘summoning demon’ thing.

Literal Sunshine: Persona.

Literal Sunshine: Whatever they’re called.

Literal Sunshine: This sounds a lot like a ‘playing with forces beyond your control’ situation.

nuthinbutbeat: don up an dye main

Nasty Crime Boy: Don’t worry about it, you guys.

Nasty Crime Boy: I’m sure the long nosed man that keeps showing up in my dreams won’t lead me astray.

ping me:

ping me: scuse me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I got Tokyo Mirage Sessions Encore for 3 bucks day after launch at a GameStop. My secrets? I'll never tell.
> 
> It was worth every penny and then some, I'll tell ya that. :3c
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nasty Crime Boy: WTF is wrong with you, dude?
> 
> Mr. Twister: many things four eyes
> 
> Nasty Crime Boy: The glasses are fake!
> 
> Mr. Twister: like my soul
> 
> \--
> 
> Ren and friends go back into the 9th dimension, and Itsuki begins internally regretting his life choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nasty Crime Boy - Ren
> 
> Literal Sunshine - Itsuki
> 
> ping me - Neku
> 
> nuthinbutbeat - Beat

**_April 15th - 7:05 PM_ **

**_Nasty Crime Boy is online._ **

Nasty Crime Boy: So, a couple things.

Nasty Crime Boy: I’m officially almost expelled, haha.

**_Literal Sunshine and one other is online._ **

nuthinbutbeat: yo

Literal Sunshine: Hi, guys!

Literal Sunshine: 

Literal Sunshine: **Ren, it’s only been five days.**

Literal Sunshine: **How did you get ‘almost expelled’ within five days what did you do???**

Nasty Crime Boy: Okay, to be fair, it wasn’t my fault.

Nasty Crime Boy: Ryuji was about to attack our asshole piece of human garbage gym teacher and I just so happened to be in the room.

Nasty Crime Boy: The gym teacher hates us both.

Literal Sunshine: **Why was Ryuji attacking the gym teacher what???**

Nasty Crime Boy: That’s information neither me, nor Morgana are comfortable with showing.

Nasty Crime Boy: Oh, yeah, Morgana lives with me now, see?

Nasty Crime Boy: notacatbutacat.jpeg

nuthinbutbeat: werent he lik a plush toi thinggy lst tim

Nasty Crime Boy: Apparently in this dimension, he’s a cat.

Nasty Crime Boy: Morgana’s watching me type and he just bit my hand.

Literal Sunshine: **You’re changing the subject, Ren.**

Nasty Crime Boy: Hey, blame Morgana.

Nasty Crime Boy: Ow, he bit me again.

**_ping me is online._ **

ping me: wtf

ping me: my phone keeps going off wth is going on

Literal Sunshine: **Ren got himself expelled, Neku.**

Nasty Crime Boy: *Almost* expelled.

Literal Sunshine: **Technicality.**

ping me: literally half a day later you fuck up

ping me: i think you broke aoi amamiya

ping me: he sounds like a parent throwing a fit because you got a D on a test.

Literal Sunshine: **I’m not broken just very concerned.**

Literal Sunshine: **I want what’s best for you all.**

**_Literal Sunshine changed their name to ‘Dad Friend’._**

**This is now more appropriate, looking back.**

ping me: give me back my nickname privileges asshole

Nasty Crime Boy: He took those too?

ping me: he took everything from me

ping me: i bet hes the reason for poverty world hunger and global warming

nuthinbutbeat: ouch

**No. :)**

**But since you’ve been a good boy, I’ll give you a new one.**

ping me: oh joy

**_ping me changed their name to ‘Mr. Twister’._ **

**You listen to that song so much, I figured you should be named after it!**

Mr. Twister: you have audio access too

Mr. Twister:

Mr. Twister: fine

Mr. Twister: its not as god awful ill take it

Nasty Crime Boy: What song?

Mr. Twister: twister

Nasty Crime Boy: Never heard of it.

Mr. Twister: is someone speaking to me

Mr. Twister: all i hear is the garbled gibberish of the uncultured

Nasty Crime Boy: Sorry if I don’t listen to… whatever kinda music you listen to.

Mr. Twister: jrock and jrap that for some reason is mostly sung in english

nuthinbutbeat: yo u speek english

Mr. Twister: fluently

Mr. Twister: you jealous

nuthinbutbeat: ye

Nasty Crime Boy: That’s actually kinda impressive. My English is passable, but I’m nowhere near fluent.

Nasty Crime Boy: How’d you do it, I gotta know.

Mr. Twister: the more i give a damn in class the faster i can get out of this shit hole town and get a high paying job

Mr. Twister: and the sooner i can go to the himalayas alone

Mr. Twister: to achieve my dream of becoming a snow monster and scaring the crap out of hikers so they fall off

Nasty Crime Boy: I

Nasty Crime Boy: Y’know I should have expected a non-answer seeing as it’s you, but...

Nasty Crime Boy: WTF is wrong with you, dude?

Mr. Twister: many things four eyes

Nasty Crime Boy: The glasses are fake!

Mr. Twister: like my soul

nuthinbutbeat: gum jst luked at teh chat

nuthinbutbeat: she sad yallre wild

Nasty Crime Boy: B)

Dad Friend: Okay.

Dad Friend: I’m okay now.

Dad Friend: Why are you expelled, Ren?

Nasty Crime Boy: It’s complicated.

Nasty Crime Boy: My gym teacher’s been doing some… fucked up shit.

Mr. Twister: what kind of fucked up shit

Nasty Crime Boy: You don’t wanna know.

Nasty Crime Boy: I’m not about to bring the chat down with it.

nuthinbutbeat: is ok

Dad Friend: It’s alright. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.

Nasty Crime Boy: Okay. I guess I’m just still in shock.

Nasty Crime Boy: Anyways, we’re working on a plan to sorta 'fix' the gym teacher.

Dad Friend: Well... good luck with that!

nuthinbutbeat: beat is bitch ass up

Nasty Crime Boy: Oh, and another thing. I… think I’m the leader of a band of thieves now???

Dad Friend:

Nasty Crime Boy: Like, we don't go around actively steal stuff. It's more of a rebellion thing, ig.

Dad Friend: Neku are you in a gang, too?

Dad Friend: Let me know now so I can have the heart attack early.

Mr. Twister: oh yeah im part of the yakuza clan that meets up by my house.

Mr. Twister: no im not in a gang moron

Dad Friend: Thank you.

Mr. Twister: im not an idiot like paint huffer and sly cooper over here

nuthinbutbeat: pant smels kinna gud tho

Nasty Crime Boy: The hell is a ‘sly cooper’?

Mr. Twister: ive gone deaf to the uncultured again

Nasty Crime Boy: |:|

Nasty Crime Boy: Morgana wants me to get ready for bed.

nuthinbutbeat: is 7:30

Nasty Crime Boy: He doesn’t care. He’s sitting on me and not letting me move.

Dad Friend: Why don’t you just pick him up and move him?

Nasty Crime Boy: He told me he’d gouge out my eyes if I did.

Mr. Twister: its a cat

Mr. Twister: tell him to go to sleep by his damn self

Nasty Crime Boy: …

Nasty Crime Boy: I am kinda tired.

nuthinbutbeat: jus sit up dud

Nasty Crime Boy: hgfxhgyjuhgfhdzgsehdtryuijkhgfdhsdrt

**_Nasty Crime Boy is offline._ **

Dad Friend: That must be one powerful cat. 8.

Dad Friend: Who wants to hear about my day today? I had to be my friend Tsubasa’s bag mule.

Mr. Twister: riveting

nuthinbutbeat: nah im gud

**_nuthinbutbeat is offline._ **

Dad Friend: :( Aw.

_**Dad Friend is offline.** _

* * *

**_ChatBot = > Neku Sakuraba_ **

**I saw you squeal like a little girl at that picture of Morgana.**

**You like cats, don’t you? :3c**

Neku: no

**Why is most of your browsing history pictures of kittens, adoption listings, and of this artist called CAT, then? :3**

**_Neku is offline._ **

**Rage quit numero dos.**

**_Chatbot is offline._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not about to get this fic an M-rating by going in depth about Kamoshitty. I'm not about that life.
> 
> Yet.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nuthinbutbeat: i tink ur awwsum baby bro
> 
> nuthinbutbeat: u a jackaz bt u got swag
> 
> Mr. Twister: if i was actually your brother i would have disowned you by now
> 
> \--
> 
> Other faces are revealed and revelations are made.

**_April 16th - 7:15 PM_ **

**_Dad Friend and three others are online._ **

Nasty Crime Boy: I’m back from shopping, bitches.

Nasty Crime Boy: Got me some green tea Pocky.

Dad Friend: Aw, lucky. I can’t find those anywhere. :(

Dad Friend: Hee Ho Mart is always sold out.

Nasty Crime Boy: I’ll eat the entire box for you, buddy.

Dad Friend: Enjoy it for me. 

Dad Friend: (╥︣﹏᷅╥᷅)

nuthinbutbeat: gren tee pocki sawns hella gud

nuthinbutbeat: i wan sum

Nasty Crime Boy: I’m throwing some at the screen and it’s not going through, Beat. |’(

nuthinbutbeat: boooooo

Dad Friend: Anyways, I wanted to do something fun today.

Mr. Twister: whatever it is ill pass

Dad Friend: But you haven’t heard what it’s going to be yet. /:/

Mr. Twister: doesnt matter

**:)**

Mr. Twister: ...

Mr. Twister: what is it

Dad Friend: I figured since Ren did a face reveal the other day, we all should too!

Nasty Crime Boy: Ooh, I wanna see what all you sexy people look like!

nuthinbutbeat: ok

Mr. Twister: i reject this idea greatly but chatbot is gonna fuck with me if i say no so

Mr. Tiwster: lets get this over with

**Glad you finally understand the life script, pal! ^.^**

Mr. Twister: i hate you with every fiber of my very being

Mr. Twister: suck the fattest lemon

Nasty Crime Boy: The hell does that mean?

Dad Friend: Whatever it means, it’s probably meant to be an insult.

Dad Friend: I’ll go first!

Dad Friend: me.jpeg

nuthinbutbeat: y yur har luk lik a blubury

Nasty Crime Boy: Forget that, why do you look almost exactly like this kid in my class?

Nasty Crime Boy: He sits around looking like a kicked puppy every day.

Nasty Crime Boy: I forget his name, but you’re almost a spitting image.

Dad Friend: I’m a kicked puppy? :(

Mr. Twister: no you look normal

Mr. Twister: too normal

Mr. Twister: like a background extra its creepy as hell

Dad Friend: Good!

Dad Friend: That’s the aesthetic I was going for. I don’t like drawing attention to myself.

Mr. Twister: if you say so

Nasty Crime Boy: Morgana reminded me, his name’s Mishima.

Nasty Crime Boy: sadboi.jpeg

nuthinbutbeat: yup

nuthingbutbeat: kiked puppi main

Mr. Twister: i cringed

Nasty Crime Boy: Did it warm the cockles of your heart? :>

Mr. Twister: nah still dead inside

Dad Friend: Beat, Neku, don’t leave us hanging now.

nuthinbutbeat: aight leme show u my sexy slf

**Both of you do it at the same time.**

Mr. Twister: why

**You’ll see. : > **

nuthinbutbeat: okee

Mr. Twister: whatever.

nuthinbutbeat: hot.jpeg

Mr. Twister: me.jpeg

nuthinbutbeat:

Mr. Twister:

Dad Friend:

Nasty Crime Boy:

Nasty Crime Boy: Beat.

Nasty Crime Boy: Nekky.

Nasty Crime Boy: Babies.

Nasty Crime Boy: Sweeties.

Nasty Crime Boy: Do you two happen to be related?

Mr. Twister: no

nuthinbutbeat: YO WE TWINS

Mr. Twister: **no**

Mr. Twister: **i rebuke that shit**

nuthinbutbeat: i didn no mom an dad had anuthr kid

Mr. Twister: they didnt because theres no fucking way youre my brother

nuthinbutbeat: don dini my luv baby bro

Dad Friend: Neku, you have to admit, you both look pretty similar.

Dad Friend: The orange hair?

Mr. Twister: so what dad has orange hair

nuthingbutbeat: so dus min

Dad Friend: The headphones?

Mr. Twister: dont insult the phones man

Mr. Twister: his are trash

Mr. Twister: the hell are those antennae things on it

nuthinbutbeat: they bring mi sikk toons so they fly 2 mi

Dad Friend: The fashion sense?

Mr. Twister: quit it

Mr. Twister: im not now or ever going to be related to this stinky back alley gutter man

Mr. Twister: i refuse

Mr. Twister: i reject that reality

nuthinbutbeat: i smel lik rowses

Nasty Crime Boy: Hold up, drop that for a sec. Your hair, Neku...

Nasty Crime Boy: That is the most ‘shounen manga protag’ haircut I think I’ve ever seen on an actual human being.

Nasty Crime Boy: It’s kinda wild, I can’t stop staring at it.

Nasty Crime Boy: And your shirt.

Mr. Twister: im gonna stop you there

Mr. Twister: you dont see me talking about how youve got failed harem protag energy do you fucker

nuthinbutbeat: i tink ur awwsum baby bro

nuthinbutbeat: u a jackaz bt u got swag

Mr. Twister: if i was actually your brother i would have disowned you by now

nuthinbutbeat: u no u luv mi

Nasty Crime Boy: And don’t think we’re done talking about how you look like Mishima, Itsuki.

Nasty Crime Boy: You could be his older brother easy.

Dad Friend: Y’know, it’s weird.

Dad Friend: We really do. I could easily picture myself having him as a sibling. Seeing his bandages and bruises, I have this…

Dad Friend: ...Weird urge to protect that seems almost familial.

Dad Friend: It’s thrown me for a bit of a loop.

nuthinbutbeat: yallre clons nt bros

Mr. Twister: i actually agree with the ape man

nuthinbutbeat: :)

Mr. Twister: shut

Nasty Crime Boy: Well, I’m sure it’s all just a massive coincidence, all jokes aside.

Nasty Crime Boy: I mean, none of us have siblings, right?

nuthinbutbeat: nah

Dad Friend: No.

Mr. Twister: blissfully

**What about your cousin RenRen?**

Nasty Crime Boy: Don’t out me like this, ChatBot.

Nasty Crime Boy: Don’t you do it.

Dad Friend: Oh, you have a cousin?

Nasty Crime Boy: His name’s Akira.

Nasty Crime Boy: We don’t talk about Akira.

Nasty Crime Boy: Gremlin man.

Dad Friend: I’d love meeting him sometime!

Nasty Crime Boy: No you wouldn’t.

Mr. Twister: why not renren

Nasty Crime Boy: Little shit, stop it.

Mr. Twister: nah i dont think i will renren

Nasty Crime Boy: || <

**_Nasty Crime Boy is offline._ **

Mr. Twister: revenge feels good

**_Mr. Twister is offline._ **

Dad Friend: :o

Dad Friend: Mishima kind of has my eyes too.

nuthinbutbeat: bro itsuki

Dad Friend: What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can't look at Neku and Beat or Itsuki and Mishima and tell me they don't look at least semi-related.
> 
> Especially Itsuki and Mishima.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nuthinbutbeat: wut bout ur bran
> 
> Mr. Twister: wouldnt know cuz im not giving it to him
> 
> nuthinbutbeat: smart
> 
> Dad Friend: Why is this conversation going in this direction?
> 
> \--
> 
> The gang walks into the chat to... a sight. Itsuki is once again tested, Beat apparently is into goth doctors and Neku is himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nasty Crime Boy - Ren
> 
> Dad Friend - Itsuki
> 
> Mr. Twister - Neku
> 
> nuthinbutbeat - Beat
> 
> Trying to 100% TWEWY is a process that is slowly driving me insane. :) But I'm gonna do it. 
> 
> I'm gonna do it before the anime comes out too, damn it.
> 
> Also, to any older readers, I added one of my sketches to Chapter 1 if you're curious. It's the one that inspired me to plan this out, created on a hazy March mid-morning.

**_April 18th - 3:27 PM_ **

**_Nasty Crime Boy is online._ **

Nasty Crime Boy: PUUUUUUUUUUURSSSEEE OOOOOOOWWWWNNNNNEEEERRRRRR

Nasty Crime Boy: kiu hnfs asd aresne

Nasty Crime Boy: ruigi shae thg ranim

Nasty Crime Boy: ruigi

Nasty Crime Boy: RUIGI

**_Dad Friend is online._ **

Dad Friend: Oh, Ren, you’re texting early.

Dad Friend:

Dad Friend: I--

Nasty Crime Boy: hkgfdtxhjfgyhukjhgfdxhfcjvygkuyhi

Nasty Crime Boy: hgyfdtrsxjtykguhkfydtsrxrcfyvgtkuylih ruigi ranim ert jihiukvg

Nasty Crime Boy: spikky lod spikky lod spikky lod

Nasty Crime Boy: garu mona garu danlvft

Nasty Crime Boy: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Nasty Crime Boy: gofd docrer munma

Nasty Crime Boy: asdrjtkyuilojhugdfszgxhfrjtgyuhkjnbhvgcfxdftryguh

Dad Friend: I’m speechless.

**_nuthinbutbeat is online._ **

nuthinbutbeat: yo is ren ok

Nasty Crime Boy: bee bee bee brts beec ber

nuthinbutbeat: he wiggin awt big tim dawg

**_Nasty Crime Boy is offline._ **

**_Mr. Twister is online._ **

Mr. Twister: i think i just witnessed a man have a fucking stroke

Dad Friend: Don’t joke like that! Ren could be seriously hurt! <:(

Dad Friend: Maybe he hit his head somewhere and he’s trying to call for help!

nuthinbutbeat: wid e cull us tho

nuthinbutbeat: wi cant help hiim

Dad Friend: Maybe he’s… confused?

Dad Friend: I don’t know!

**_Nasty Crime Boy is online._ **

Dad Friend: Ren!

Dad Friend: You’re back so soon!

Nasty Crime Boy: jfaibgdlauhnflkenhdfalfsafnh

Dad Friend: And still not okay. :')

Mr. Twister: whatever he hit his head on it must have turned him into a zombie

Dad Friend: Ren is still alive and well.

nuthinbutbeat: idk itz

nuthinbutbeat: cud b a zomby

Dad Friend:

Dad Friend: ‘Itz?’

Nasty Crime Boy: momma can i haz the cookie?

Mr. Twister: if you want brains avoid these two like the plague

Mr. Twister: pretty sure beats brain has no nutritional value

nuthinbutbeat: nut tru

nuthinbutbeat: i got the yummyist bran

Dad Friend: Beat, you’re encouraging him.

Mr. Twister: aois brain would give you sugar poisoning

Mr. Twister: hes too pure

Dad Friend: It would not!

Dad Friend: Oh, no, now I’m doing it too.

nuthinbutbeat: wut bout ur bran

Mr. Twister: wouldnt know cuz im not giving it to him

nuthinbutbeat: smart

Dad Friend: Why is this conversation going in this direction?

Nasty Crime Boy: Ravage the children Arsene.

Nasty Crime Boy: Delete them.

Nasty Crime Boy: They aren’t ready.

Nasty Crime Boy: cuffre dod cofftr did maj mr foid

Nasty Crime Boy: i luc luv

**_Nasty Crime Boy is offline._ **

Dad Friend: …

Dad Friend: Okay, what the hell?

Mr. Twister: i didnt know amamiyas persona crap required sacrificing babies

Dad Friend: **Neku.**

Mr. Twister: why else would that be the only intelligible thing hes said

Mr. Twister: imo hes doing us all a favor

Mr. Twister: one less whining shit goblin for every summoning

Dad Friend: **Why are you like this?**

nuthinbutbeat: sav teh kids

nuthinbutbeat: they awr futur yo

**_Nasty Crime Boy is online._ **

Nasty Crime Boy: Hello, this is Dr. Tae Takemi, Amamiya-kun’s new primary practitioner.

Nasty Crime Boy: Not to break doctor-patient confidentiality, but he’s currently delirious and screeching gibberish into my ear. Nothing to worry about, just a totally normal procedure.

Nasty Crime Boy: Everything is completely fine and absolutely not illegal.

Nasty Crime Boy: Disregard anything he just typed.

Nasty Crime Boy: Giving him back his phone was a mistake.

nuthinbutbeat: yup

Mr. Twister: so hes not the living dead

Nasty Crime Boy: Not at all.

Nasty Crime Boy: He’s moaning in pain on the cot like one, though.

Mr. Twister: damn

**_Mr. Twister is offline._ **

Nasty Crime Boy:

Nasty Crime Boy: Nice friend you got there.

Dad Friend: Well… not exactly a friend.

Dad Friend: More like a captive audience slave to our ChatBot’s whim.

Dad Friend: All of us are, really, even though I don’t mind.

Dad Friend: I enjoy the new friends I’ve made here! :)

nuthinbutbeat: we ben ere fo ova a wik

**And what a wonderful week it’s been. :3**

Nasty Crime Boy:

Nasty Crime Boy: Good luck with that.

**_Nasty Crime Boy is offline._ **

**Aw, I scared her off. :(**

Dad Friend: The whole ‘sentient chat bot’ angle would probably freak anyone out.

nuthinbutbeat: i git te feelin u did tat on purpose

**How dare you accuse me of such a thing, Beat?! >:( **

**… okay, maybe.**

**No hot goth doctors allowed.**

**It’d remind me too much of one of my old bitchy coworkers.**

nuthinbutbeat: wat shi hot

**_ChatBot is offline._ **

nuthinbutbeat: wtf tell me if shi hot

Dad Friend: I think you might be… not her type, Beat.

Dad Friend: Just a guess.

nuthinbutbeat: damn

* * *

**_April 18th - 7:56 PM_ **

**_Nasty Crime Boy and three others are online._ **

Nasty Crime Boy: Okay, what the fuck did I do?

Nasty Crime Boy: This is way longer than we left it last night.

Nasty Crime Boy: And I know because last night was dead quiet.

nuthinbutbeat: yah i remmber

nuthinbutbeat: we mad knocc knocc jokes

nuthinbutbeat: they was prtty bad yo

Mr. Twister: do you take any child or do they have to be newborns

Mr. Twister: id like to volunteer the toddlers next door who keep throwing shit at my head as tribute

Nasty Crime Boy: Come again?

Dad Friend: ... I’d scroll up, Ren.

Nasty Crime Boy: Okay.

Nasty Crime Boy: Oh.

Nasty Crime Boy: ...Oh.

Nasty Crime Boy: **Oh god, no.**

Nasty Crime Boy: **No, that isn’t how it works!**

Nasty Crime Boy: **Why in the fuck?!**

**I’m crying.**

**Your face when you read that was priceless!**

Mr. Twister: not cool holding out on me like that renren

Mr. Twister: i coulda done the world a great service by getting rid of those goblins

Nasty Crime Boy: Shut it, Hedgehog Head.

Mr. Twister: >:o

Dad Friend: Is no one else wondering why Ren was getting drugged to the point of delirium in a doctor’s office in the first place?

Dad Friend: Just me?

nuthinbutbeat: i wana no 2

Mr. Twister: im not about to sit here and take you talking shit about my awesome hair again four eyes

Nasty Crime Boy: Try it. I bet it reeks of hair gel and chemicals.

Mr. Twister: cocoa butter and honey bitch

Mr. Twister: least mine aint greasy looking asf

Dad Friend: Okay.

**_Dad Friend is offline._ **

nuthinbutbeat: no itz com bak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takemi is not down for getting her every move watched by a stalking, goofy AI and I think we can all respect that.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nuthinbutbeat: hawt
> 
> nuthinbutbeat: can i gt er number
> 
> Nasty Crime Boy: She’s a succubus, Beat.
> 
> nuthinbutbeat: so
> 
> \--
> 
> More pictures, and another revelation surrounding Beat's tastes in women.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nasty Crime Boy: Ren
> 
> Dad Friend: Itsuki
> 
> Mr. Twister: Neku
> 
> nuthinbutbeat: Beat.
> 
> Sorry for the delay! We're about over half way done with the first month now!

**_April 19th - 7:00 PM_ **

**_Nasty Crime Boy and three others are online._ **

Nasty Crime Boy: So we went back into that castle today. ._.

Nasty Crime Boy: I come bearing pictures of Shadows!

Mr. Twister: did you steal them from all of your baby victims

Nasty Crime Boy: You’re trying to bait me and I refuse to bite.

Dad Friend: That emoji is giving me concerning signals.

Dad Friend: What are Shadows, exactly?

Nasty Crime Boy: Oh, they’re the monsters we fight.

Nasty Crime Boy: They’re weird as hell. They walk around our asshole gym teacher’s mind dungeon as his guards and worship him like a real king.

Nasty Crime: Oh, yeah, the castle’s his mind dungeon, I don’t think I mentioned that.

nuthinbutbeat: so a cull

Nasty Crime Boy: Right on the money.

Nasty Crime Boy: The worst cult.

Nasty Crime Boy: pumpkinlad.jpeg

Dad Friend: Oh! It’s so precious!   
  
Dad Friend: ヽ(o♡o)/

nuthinbutbeat: kewl lil pumkin dud

nuthinbutbeat: gum liks im tinks e cut

Nasty Crime Boy: It’s not cute, it tried to set me on fire!

Mr. Twister: ive decided i like this jack o lantern witch demon

Nasty Crime Boy: >:(

Dad Friend: You know, in a way, he kind of looks like the mascot of Hee Ho Mart. Just a little bit.

Dad Friend: heeho.jpeg

Nasty Crime Boy: Huh. Never heard of it.

Nasty Crime Boy: The mascot’s a snowman in a jester outfit???

Dad Friend: Isn’t Jack an adorable bean? :>

Nasty Crime Boy: ...A little bit.

nuthinbutbeat: not cutr thn pots

Dad Friend: Wait, wait.

Dad Friend: Ren, we’re both in 2016, right?

Dad Friend: You’ve never heard of Hee Ho Mart?

Nasty Crime Boy: Nope, not at all.

Dad Friend: But it's such a great shop! D:

Nasty Crime Boy: I’m not a Tokyo native. Just moved, remember?

Dad Friend: That’s true…

Dad Friend: Well, keep an eye out for it!

Nasty Crime Boy: I will! I’m always up for new Tokyo sights! :)

Mr. Twister: are you gonna show more of your pictures, dumbass, or can I go take a shower

Mr. Twister: i smell like sweat and city air

nuthinbutbeat: sam

nuthinbutbeat: im cuverd in pant rn

Nasty Crime Boy: Right, right.

Nasty Crime Boy: Here’s a hot demon lady then.

Nasty Crime Boy: bitch.jpeg

Dad Friend: Oh! She’s uh… something.

nuthinbutbeat: hawt

nuthinbutbeat: can i gt er number

Nasty Crime Boy: She’s a succubus, Beat.

nuthinbutbeat: so

Mr. Twister: perfect for aois thirsty friend

Dad Friend: I’m not hooking up Touma with a succubus! 8(

Mr. Twister: a succubus is the only girl whod be willing to date him if he keeps up the shirtless deodorant shit

Dad Friend: He found something new!

Dad Friend: Now, he’s in a bottled water ad!

Dad Friend: They pour water all over him slowly and in dramatic fashion! Perfectly innocent fun! >:(

Mr. Twister:

Mr. Twister: you are one dense motherfucker arent you

Dad Friend: Huh?

Nasty Crime Boy: She controls minds, too.

Nasty Crime Boy: She cast a spell called Marin Karin and Ryuji almost shattered my arm with a bat.

Dad Friend: Oh, no! Are you guys okay?

Nasty Crime Boy: We’re fine. I got pushed out of the way and Morgana took it out.

Nasty Crime Boy: Ryuji apologized a lot too.

Nasty Crime Boy: It’s all good, it was because of Marin Karin anyways.

Mr. Twister: ah yes

Mr. Twister: the spell told him to

Mr. Twister: there was no innate carnal desire

Dad Friend: That sounds scary, being out of control of your actions like that. I hope it never happens to me. <:(

nuthinbutbeat: i men

nuthinbutbeat: at lest she hawt

Dad Friend: Beat, that’s…

nuthinbutbeat: wut

Nasty Crime Boy: Moving on.

Nasty Crime: There’s, uh… one in particular I had for you guys.

Nasty Crime Boy: A Persona is basically me, right?

Nasty Crime Boy: That’s at least what Mona told me.

Nasty Crime Boy: why.png

Nasty Crime Boy: What the fuck is this supposed to mean, then?

Nasty Crime Boy: What does this meeeeean guys?!

**( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

**I mean, I have to blur that out because this is a good Christian server but...**

**Truly, the ideal male body.**

Dad Friend: What the hell?!

Mr. Twister: there is nothing good or wholesome about this server

Mr. Twister: holy shit that is a huge censor bar

**Beat’s cry-laughing.**

nuthinbutbeat: dawg cn u blam mi

Nasty Crime Boy: His name’s Incubus.

Nasty Crime Boy: He’s one of my new Personas now.

Nasty Crime Boy: Help.

Mr. Twister: hell no youre on your own

**Mr. Twister is offline**

Dad Friend: **I am very concerned.**

Dad Friend: Why is it so… big?!

nuthinbutbeat: issit

nuthinbutbeat: issit ponty

Nasty Crime Boy: Very pointy.

Nasty Crime Boy: Like a knife.

Dad Friend: But I thought Arsene was your Persona!

Dad Friend: You didn’t trade him for that thing, did you?

Nasty Crime Boy: Oh, I still have Arsene!

Nasty Crime Boy: He told me to say hi to you guys.

Dad Friend: ...hi?

nuthinbutbeat: yo

Nasty Crime Boy: I can sorta just have… multiple Personas? The long nosed dream man told me that much at least. It’s called being a Wild Card.

Nasty Crime Boy: Succubus lady’s mine too.

Dad Friend: You took the succubus.

Dad Friend: Really.

Nasty Crime Boy: Incubus was lonely.

nuthinbutbeat: woos da long nosd dud

Nasty Crime Boy: I’d tell you but I don’t know either.

Nasty Crime Boy: All I know is that his legs are also very long and he has the voice of an aggressive chainsmoker.

Nasty Crime Boy: Kinda like my aunt Asuna.

nuthinbutbeat: tat akiras mom

  
Nasty Crime Boy: _**We don’t talk about Akira.**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to take some time to start writing out the fully written parts of the story! There's quite a bit for me to do and they're shaping up to be pretty long and involved! ^-^'
> 
> ...
> 
> That and my friend convinced me to buy Yakuza 0.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nasty Crime Boy: So you like squishing meat?
> 
> Nasty Crime Boy: Same, honestly.
> 
> Dad Friend: I have no desire to know what that means because it sounds very unclean.
> 
> \--
> 
> A discussion about dinner gets weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nasty Crime Boy - Ren
> 
> Mr. Twister - Neku
> 
> Dad Friend - Itsuki
> 
> nuthinbutbeat - Beat
> 
> \--
> 
> I know that clock says 1 in the morning, but in my heart, it's still Friday, damn it.
> 
> Thank you all for being so patient! As last mentioned, work's been killer. I'm getting a better handle on it now, so the next update should come out much sooner. I also had some trouble deliberating over which convo I wanted to write next and in what order, so that delayed it a lot more. Sorry for keeping y'all waiting and enjoy!

**_April 23rd - 6:00 PM_ **

**_Dad Friend and three others are online._ **

Dad Friend: Heeeeeey, guys!

Dad Friend: It’s almost time for dindin!

Dad Friend: What’s on the menu for everyone tonight?

Dad Friend:  ∩(・ω・)∩

nuthinbutbeat: gum mad burgers

Dad Friend: Ooh, burgers sound delicious!

nuthinbutbeat: no thy ant

nuthinbutbeat: thy hrd ass brks :(

Nasty Crime Boy: Lick the charcoal brick, Beat.

Nasty Crime Boy: Lick it like your life depends on it.

nuthinbutbeat: bt thy so nsti

Dad Friend: I’m sorry to hear that you aren’t enjoying your meal, Beat. I hope you can find something good to eat.

Dad Friend: Hey, a rhyme. :D

Dad Friend: What are you having, Ren?

Nasty Crime Boy: Oh, a rich and lovely cuisine.

Nasty Crime Boy: A lavish culinary masterwork.

**It’s two-day old fridge curry.**

Nasty Crime Boy: You’re cruel.

Nasty Crime Boy: You wound me with your vibe killing, CB.

**I’m doing my job right then. :D**

Dad Friend: Do you not have anything else to eat? :(

Nasty Crime Boy: No, it’s really fine! I just haven’t gone shopping yet!

Nasty Crime Boy: I got a job working at a flower shop, so extra dough’ll be rolling in soon.

**You only need extra money cuz you keep buying cheap medicine and guns.**

Nasty Crime Boy: Why did you mention the guns?!

Nasty Crime Boy: I was trying not to mention the guns!

Dad Friend: Why do you need guns?!

Mr. Twister: insurance

Mr. Twister: in case the ritual goes horribly wrong

Nasty Crime Boy: How many times do I have to tell you that’s not how it works?

Mr. Twister: just say the word and ill have the little fuckers in a body bag

Mr. Twister: threw a chewed up orange at me today

Mr. Twister: they ruined my fucking shirt

Nasty Crime Boy: How would they even get to me?

Mr. Twister: if chatbitch can create a phone for paint huffer out of thin air i bet he can bullshit them to you

Nasty Crime Boy: Ha. ‘Chatbitch’.

Dad Friend: Guns, Ren.

Dad Friend:  _ Guns. _

Nasty Crime Boy: Calm yourself, Itz. Deep breaths.

Nasty Crime Boy: They’re only toys. Models.

Nasty Crime Boy: And they only actually shoot stuff in the Palace, so it’s cool.

Dad Friend: How’d you even learn about this very specific detail?

Nasty Crime Boy: Ryuji brought one with him one da--

Mr. Twister: of course it was fucking sakamoto

Mr. Twister: when is it not fucking sakamoto

Nasty Crime Boy: Mo

Nasty Crime Boy: Morgana actually nodded.

Nasty Crime Boy: Ryuji means well istg.

Nasty Crime Boy: I’m actually really disappointed right now, holy shit.

nuthinbutbeat: yo i wnt a gon

Dad Friend: Denied.

Dad Friend: I’d be… afraid of you having a gun in any capacity.

nuthinbutbeat: yll jus mean

nuthinbutbeat: b nic i alriddy gotta suffer thru tis dam bricc brgr

nuthinbutbeat: ow gum sah n smckd mi

Mr. Twister: get fucked lol

Nasty Crime Boy: Why the hell would you text that when she’s right there?!?!

nuthinbutbeat: i didn no

nuthinbutbeat: mi fce hrts

Dad Friend: It’d probably be a good idea to not text us out in the open like that, Beat. <:/

Dad Friend: We don’t really want a repeat of Dr. Takemi, right?

nuthinbutbeat: tru

nuthinbutbeat: bt ren duz it wth morgana

Nasty Crime Boy: Morgana is a talking cat who may or may not be human, my dude.

Nasty Crime: You ever try training a cat to leave you alone for a bit only for them to sit on your laptop anyways?

Nasty Crime Boy: That’s it, that’s what my life has become.

Nasty Crime Boy: Okay, shut up, he’s back.

**Ren called you a cat behind your back, Morgana.**

Nasty Crime Boy: Ah, c’mon, now Morgana bit me!

Nasty Crime Boy: Did you get bored of Neku already?! Is that why you’re picking on me tonight? >:(

Mr. Twister: asshole

**Nah. I’ll meet my ‘make the emo porcupine suffer’ quota in just a bit. :)**

Dad Friend: :o Ominous...

Mr. Twister: say what

**Nothing! :))**

Mr. Twister: hmmmmmm

Mr. Twister: dont kill my good mood man

Nasty Crime Boy: You trying to get me to assassinate the neighbors is you in a good mood?

Mr. Twister:  _ thinking about the result  _ puts me in a good mood yes

Dad Friend: Anyways.

Dad Friend: My mom’s making this new udon recipe she found online for dinner!

Dad Friend: I just really wanted to share. It smells delicious. :)

Dad Friend: Even if it was disgusting, I’d gobble it all up if it made her happy.

Nasty Crime Boy: Purest babby boy right here.

Nasty Crime: Every time he smiles, global warming chills the fuck out a degree and a starving child is fed.

Dad Friend: Now, come on, no one is  _ that  _ pure.

Dad Friend: Just last week I lied and told Touma that his Hello Kitty swim trunks were ripped up by the neighbor’s shiba!

Dad Friend: They turned pink in the wash. :(

Mr. Twister:

Mr. Twister: what in the god damn is that man doing with hello kitty swim trunks

Dad Friend: Now, Neku, just because he’s a guy doesn’t me--

Mr. Twister: at least make them mimi swim trunks bro

Mr. Twister: tasteless swine

Dad Friend:

Nasty Crime Boy: So? Don’t leave us hanging, Prickles. What’s on your plate?

**:)**

Mr. Twister: nunya

**Yes, Neku.**

**Tell them. Tell them about your problem.**

Mr. Twister: the hell do you mean i dont have a problem

**_gluttony.jpeg_ **

**_Mr. Twister changed their name to ‘Captain Nuggie’._ **

Nasty Crime Boy: Dude.

Nasty Crime Boy: Ha ha Neku, holy fuck.

Dad Friend: Is that…  _ five boxes of chicken nuggets…?  _

Dad Friend: Five empty boxes of chicken nuggets!

Nasty Crime Boy: It’s a nuggie mountain, I hate it.

Nasty Crime Boy: An entire mountain of slick, oiled, greasy nug.

nuthinbutbeat: stfu wit yo grss ass ren

Nasty Crime Boy: But it’s true!

Dad Friend: **You’re destroying your body Neku.**

Dad Friend:  **A growing boy needs a balanced diet.**

nuthinbutbeat: u mad daddy angri bro

Nasty Crime Boy: |:(

Captain Nuggie: chill i only ate like two boxes

Captain Nuggie: i kinda just like

Captain Nuggie: stacking them

Captain Nuggie: a meat pyramid i alone am in control of

Captain Nuggie: so that the crumb mortals die as i quash their bread dreams in my open palm

Captain Nuggie: plus sunshine nuggets are the best nuggets

Nasty Crime Boy: So you like squishing meat?

Nasty Crime Boy: Same, honestly.

Dad Friend: I have no desire to know what that means because it sounds very unclean.

Dad Friend: Wasting food is still bad!

**Oh, he doesn’t waste it.**

**He rolls the remains up into a ball to snack on later.**

Captain Nuggie: wtf nas

**Calls it the Meat Wad.**

Captain Nuggie:  **shut no i dont**

Nasty Crime Boy: Your parents actually buy you five boxes of nug on a regular basis so you can squish them?

Captain Nuggie: why not they dont give a shit

nuthinbutbeat: shar ahole nid reel fud

nuthinbutbeat: my teef hur

nuthinbutbeat: feel lik thy fallin out

Captain Nuggie: good 

Captain Nuggie: choke on them

**_Captain Nuggie has gone dormant._ **

**Three.**

Nasty Crime Boy: RIP good mood.

Dad Friend: I wonder what kind of restaurant Sunshine is. I’ve never heard of it.

Nasty Crime Boy: Hmm. Another place that neither of us future people know of, huh…?

Dad Friend: Hmm…

Nasty Crime Boy: Hmmmmm…

**Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm…**

nuthinbutbeat: hm?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Later, when Itsuki's eating dinner:
> 
> Dad Friend: Mom's Springtime Udon Special
> 
> Dad Friend: A truly tantalizing delight for the senses. The meaty, earthful broth slides warmly and seamlessly down the worn throat as the delicate, yet wonderfully chewy noodles add a well needed body to the dish.
> 
> nuthinbutbeat: que
> 
> \--
> 
> The nuggies return.
> 
> Fun fact: if you go to a restaurant or hit up a vending machine to recover your health in TMS, Itsuki turns into an incredibly verbose food critic.
> 
> You think I'm joking but I'm not joking.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hmm… that’s a pretty good point about letting him live…”
> 
> Oh, no, Ann was inspired now…
> 
> ...Ah, well. He didn’t particularly care at this point whether or not Shadow Kamoshitty walked away with his limbs intact anyways.
> 
> -
> 
> RenRen sends the bad man a postcard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nasty Crime Boy - Ren  
> Dad Friend - Itsuki  
> nuthinbutbeat - Beat  
> Captain Nuggie - Neku

**_April 25 - 3:45 PM_ **

**_Nasty Crime Boy and two others are online._ **

Nasty Crime Boy: Holy shit.

Nasty Crime Boy:  _ Holy shit. _

Nasty Crime Boy:  _ Oh holy shit we’re actually gonna fucking do this oh god oh fuck. _

Dad Friend: What, what are you doing?! 8/

Dad Friend: It’s not illegal, right?

Nasty Crime Boy: My ass is fucking  _ clenched _ , boys.

Captain Nuggie: i could go my entire life without ever hearing a single goddamn thing about your ass again

nuthinbutbeat: same fr

Dad Friend: Ren, what’s going on, you’re freaking me out!

Captain Nuggie: did sakamoto convince you to shoot up a bank

**Could you guys not make Itsuki screech like a bat on helium, please and thank you.**

Dad Friend: You told us you were getting a job! D:

**But congratulations, Ren! :) You finally took the next step in being a thief.**

**Was it fun?**

**Are you filthy rich now?**

Nasty Crime Boy:  _ Sakuraba CB istfg. _

Nasty Crime Boy _ : Today is not the day. _

nuthinbutbeat: u bettr shar thoos monies

nuthinbutbeat: wnt nu sk8s

Nasty Crime Boy: We aren’t that kind of thief!

Nasty Crime Boy: We got through the palace. 

Dad Friend: Oh. 

Dad Friend: -.-’

Captain Nuggie: boooooooooooo

nuthinbutbeat: did ya beat up teh techer

Nasty Crime Boy: Not yet.

Nasty Crime Boy: We’re gonna do that in a few minutes actually.

Dad Friend: Oh, you’re calling us during a group meeting? :o

Dad Friend: Tell your friends we said ‘hi’!

nuthinbutbeat: yoyoyoyoyo wassuuuuuuup

Dad Friend: Neku, say hi.

Captain Nuggie: no

Nasty Crime Boy: My friend Ann said hi back, Itsuki!

Nasty Crime Boy: Ryuji flipped the phone off for you, Nekky.

Captain Nuggie:  ╭∩╮(-_-)╭∩╮

Dad Friend: I wish you all luck in whatever you’re trying to do!

nuthinbutbeat: same

nuthinbutbeat: go kil a bish

Nasty Crime Boy: We’re gonna try not to but thanks! :D

\--

It took Ren the whole of the three seconds he took to shut off his screen to notice that the others were staring at him.

“What?”

Ryuji, close to breaking the back legs on the chair he was leaning on, was the first to answer. “Dude, are you...  _ totally sure  _ it’s okay for you to be talkin’ to those guys about this stuff?”

Ann coughed into her hand, and Morgana from the corner of Ren’s eye gave Ryuji a side-eye in that special ‘this shouldn’t be physically possible but I’m doing it anyway’ way of his. “Like you’re one to talk…” she muttered.

“And what’s  _ that  _ supposed to mean?!”

“It’s not like you’re that careful about it either, peabrain,” Morgana huffed, his fur bristling. “You spent all day today looking like you were up to something shady!”

Ryuji looked at the cat aghast, straightening out and glaring at him. “B-But…” He threw up his arms. “I don’t go around just tellin’ people! That’s how I look when I’m nervous!”

“You wouldn’t be nervous if you just trusted my  _ impeccable  _ guidance more.”

“Are you two really going at it  _ now?”  _ Ren was inclined to agree with the exasperated Ann.

“Your  _ impeccable guidance _ nearly got us all shredded into horse chow last time!”

Ah, yes. The Eligor whose horse wanted to eat them. How could any of them forget so soon?

“Guys, it’s  _ fine _ ,” Ren told them. He stood up and popped the joints in his back. He was going to need to keep loose for the Treasure. “They’re from separate times, remember? It’s not like they’d even be able to say anything.” Well,  _ Itsuki  _ wasn’t, but he doubted he had the concept of ratting another person out inside of his vocabulary.

“So says that  _ highly suspicious  _ AI…” Morgana muttered. Wasn’t even part of the chat and he probably hated that asshole just as much as  _ Neku _ did. Which said a lot.

Immediately afterwards, he got a ping from his phone, causing everyone to jolt. 

CB texted him often, ever since they had gotten Ann on their tiny team. He insisted on making himself a part of the group, even being able to send messages in the Metaverse when their phones were mostly useless.

Yeah,  _ that  _ got shut down real quick.

Not only did Morgana detest it, but the constant influx of texts weren’t exactly helpful. ‘What’s the point of trying to be stealthy when your phone keeps going off?!’ he had told Ren one night after a particularly _long_ Palace day. 

The pings kept getting the Shadows on their ass. They were loud in the Palace's deafening quiet, lasted a long time, and putting his phone on silent didn’t shut them up. They’d been chased one time too many by extra strong ones and Ren had to keep the not-cat from chucking it out of the window. Ryuji, too. Then he had to keep Ann from stomping on it and really, no one was having a very fun time.

He finally managed to get the AI to not text him during Palace runs, but that was easier said than done, to say the least.

* * *

**_What if I need to warn you about the Shadow guys you can’t see?!_ **

_ - _

**_C’mon, let me taaaaaaaaaaalk. Itsuki’s the only one super active in the afternoon and he keeps going on about taking Tsubasa out shopping!_ **

_ - _

**_I promise I won’t get in the way, RenRen!_ **

* * *

Still, even if it happened much less often, and not in the Palace, it didn’t freak anyone out less. Trying to do some dubious shit without getting caught does that, y’know.

* * *

**_Chat Bot - > Ren Amamiya_ **

**I’m glad the kitty loves my sexy self so much. ;)**

* * *

“No, I don’t.”

* * *

**And don’t worry. At least from within here, your secret’s safe.**

**Trust me on that.**

* * *

“How does he keep doing that?!” Everyone had crowded around Ren in order to read the short message themselves. Ann wasn’t as used to the fact he could hear them as the other two were yet. She stared at the message on Ren’s phone with everyone else, eyes wide.

Ryuji sighed. “It gets old  _ real  _ quick…”

Morgana then stood in front of everyone, garnering their attention. He preened his paw with the utmost seriousness. “We can talk about this later, you guys! We’re burning precious time here!”

He looked back down to the screen one last time for good measure. The guys were mostly giving more words of encouragement.

_ Mostly. _

* * *

Dad Friend: We all believe you can do it, buddy!

Dad Friend: But don’t actually kill anyone if you can help it, Ren!

Dad Friend: No matter how horrible a person the teacher is, you shouldn’t make such a final decision like that!

nuthinbutbeat: stil thin u shud put im don lik a dawg dawg

nuthinbutbeat: u aint sad nutin but techers gt rel shitty

Captain Nuggie: beat the everloving shit out of the fucker

nuthinbutbeat: uh oh

nuthinbutbeat: nekky on anutha tan jent

Dad Friend: Tangent, Beat.

Captain Nuggie: make him feel all the pain hes inflicted on other people

Captain Nuggie: whatever kinda shit hes done

Captain Nuggie: and then right when you beat him to a pulp and he’s about to bite it

Captain Nuggie: let him live

Captain Nuggie: the shame and humiliation from getting his ass handed to him by a glasses nerd with reject harem protag hair would be much worse than death

nuthinbutbeat: dayum

Dad Friend: <:D

Dad Friend: Neku, where--

Captain Nuggie: my dad has shit movie taste

* * *

He couldn’t tell if he should be concerned, encouraged, or insulted, but Ren decided to just roll with it.

“Hmm… that’s a pretty good point about letting him live…”

Oh, no, Ann was  _ inspired  _ now…

...Ah, well. He didn’t particularly care at this point whether or not Shadow Kamoshitty walked away with his limbs intact anyways.

* * *

Nasty Crime Boy: Okay, okay, boys.

Nasty Crime Boy: I’ll be back later.

Nasty Crime Boy: Play nice, children.

_**Nasty Crime Boy is offline.** _

* * *

“Come on, everyone...” Ren finally closed the chat app and brought out the MetaNav. The sooner they stole the Treasure, the sooner they could,  _ hopefully ( _ **_please_ ** _ let this work out alright he didn’t want to be expelled),  _ be done with this. His team, his fellow thieves, looked him in the eye, each brimming with trust and encouragement. They’d only gotten to know each other in such a few short weeks, but Ren knew they had each other’s backs.

No turning back now, he guessed. He clicked on the saved info for Kamoshida’s Palace and braced himself as the world distorted.

_ “It’s showtime!” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided I'm going to finally start adding some normal text. Some chapters won't have any, some will have a bit, and some might be all text, but it's finally here.
> 
> I deliberated over whether or not I wanted to put another chapter before the calling card for a bit, but then decided I wanted to get a move on. There's way more things I want to do with this story, and they aren't going to happen unless we make the jump towards the end of Palace 1. There'll be a few more chapters wrapping things up and then we'll start towards Palace 2 and introduce TMS's plot into the mix.
> 
> Until next time I come out of my cave!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His dad is singing karaoke downstairs.
> 
> help.mp4
> 
> Dad Friend is offline.
> 
> Captain Nuggie: aoi you bitch
> 
> \--
> 
> The boys wait for Ren to finish teaching the bad man a lesson.

**_April 25th - 4:00 PM_ **

**_nuthinbutbeat and Captain Nuggie are online._ **

nuthinbutbeat: du u thin grafiti hz a sol

nuthinbutbeat: lik cn u feeeeell the rw nrg com frm the wal whn u basc n it

Captain Nuggie: please shut the fuck up

nuthinbutbeat: gum itz tru tho

nuthinbutbeat: is got a  _ sol _ sis

Captain Nuggie: look at your contacts

Captain Nuggie: you go blind in the last 15 minutes

nuthinbutneat: o

nuthingbutbeat: crp sry

**nuthinbutbeat is offline.**

**Captain Nuggie is offline.**

* * *

**_6:09 PM_ **

**_Captain Nuggie and two others are online._ **

Captain Nuggie: aaaaaaaaaaaaagh

Captain Nuggie:  _ end my suffering _

Captain Nuggie: paint huffer

Captain Nuggie: give me your paint so i can inhale myself into the void

nuthinbutbeat: don u du grafiti 2

nuthinbutbeat: wears ur pant

Captain Nuggie: mine isnt toxic

nuthinbutbeat: min aint ether

Captain Nuggie: yours makes you think your cans float

Captain Nuggie: its enough

Captain Nuggie: chatbitch give me his cans

**You need to take it like a man, sweetie. :)**

**He’ll stop eventually.**

Captain Nuggie:  **i am in pain.**

Dad Friend: What’s wrong, Neku?! D:

Dad Friend: Are you in danger?

Dad Friend: Do you need medical help?!

Dad Friend: Did the ball of nug give you salmonella?!?!

Captain Nuggie: nooooo

Captain Nuggie: i need to be put out of my misery to end the assault on my ears

Captain Nuggie: the headphones arent working

**His dad is singing karaoke downstairs.**

**help.mp4**

**_Dad Friend is offline._ **

Captain Nuggie: aoi you bitch

**That’s not being a bitch.**

**That’s having self-preservation.**

nuthinbutbeat: tht aint bad tho???

Captain Nuggie: scuse me  _ what _

nuthinbutbeat; kinna songs lik my singin

Captain Nuggie: he can be your dad then

Captain Nuggie: you can both be tone deaf together

**Beat that’s… no.**

**Your singing isn’t** **_that gods awful,_ ** **right?**

nuthinbutbeat: leme sho u

nuthinbutbeat: aaaafhfh.jpeg

Captain Nuggie: thats a picture of your throat dumbshit

nuthinbutbeat: dam

nuthinbutbeat: how do i recor

**Slide the dial at the bottom of the screen to video.**

nuthinbutbeat: o

nuthinbutbeat: fyjsdrgrjgujfxd.mp4

Captain Nuggie: oh god youre somehow worse

Captain Nuggie:  _ ow _

nuthinbutbeat: hoo te 1 wit pore tast nao

**I’m gonna… go check on Itsuki.**

**Make sure the first video didn’t make him go deaf.**

**It’s not because Beat’s singing voice can be considered a crime against humanity, no sir.**

**_Chatbot is offline._ **

Captain Nuggie: never sing again

**_Captain Nuggie is offline._ **

nuthinbutbeat: yallre jus mean

**_nuthinbutbeat is offline._ **

* * *

**_Chatbot - > Itsuki Aoi_ **

**You okay, Itzy Bitzy? You left pretty abruptly.**

Itsuki: I’m good, thanks. 

Itsuki: I didn’t feel like sending myself to the hospital with earbleed.

**Smart.**

Itsuki: Hey, CB? You know how you creepily look through Neku’s camera?

**I wouldn’t call it** **_creepy._ ** **Ain’t that a bit of a strong word, buddy?**

Itsuki: You know our personal records.

Itsuki: You do the exact same thing to me on a regular basis, remember? |:|

**...**

**...You got me there.**

**So you need sumthin’?**

Itsuki: I was wondering if it were possible to still check in with Ren. I know he’s in another dimension and all but…

**You’re worried about him.**

Itsuki: I’m worried about him. <:/

Itsuki: I know it’s a little excessive. We’ve only known each other for a few weeks, but every time he brings up something new about those Persona… things… I dunno, I get this rock in my stomach.

Itsuki: And now he’s apparently at the end of that Palace. Who knows what that entails, y’know?

Itsuki: I just don’t want him getting himself killed.

**I know, dude. Me neither.**

**Unfortunately, the Palace got all screwy the moment they all got there. I can’t see what he’s doing.**

**I’m sure Ren’ll be fine. I’ve watched him fight and it’s something else, man.**

Itsuki: Oh, really?

Itsuki: I… guess you’re right. He’s had a little while to get good at protecting himself, after all.

Itsuki: Thanks for the reassurance, though. :)

**Anytime, Itzy.**

Itsuki: Also, tell Neku I’m sorry he has to live with that.

**Saaaaaaaaaame.**

* * *

**_9:59 PM_ **

**_Nasty Crime Boy is online._ **

Nasty Crime Boy: You guys, I did it.

Nasty Crime Boy: Down with the king, bitches.

Nasty Crime Boy: ...I think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how about that P5 Scramble localization that got announced a bit ago. I say, it's about time! Definitely gonna be something I'll try to pick up Day 1 if I can.
> 
> ...Also, still in shock that Neo: TWEWY is a thing that will soon exist. TWEWY fans will be eating GOOD in 2021.
> 
> Bit of a shorter one, but I wanted to add some more conversations with the others. A total retelling of the Palace fight isn't really what I wanted to add here. That and work over the holidays has been murder. Shout out to anyone else working retail. The next chapter should definitely be longer.
> 
> Again, I've been working on and off on the wordier chapters in the meantime, when I had the energy to do so. I've got a couple of side plot chapters already figured out for later down the line that I'm not sure where to place. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
> 
> Rating's preumptively going up to M. ...Proooooobably should have done so sooner.
> 
> Also, another shout out to the people who get the irony of Beat being a horrible singer here.
> 
> Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!


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